Keel’ath had moved to the floor, both to hold Mako and their daughter close. She was bravely keeping her tears in, only giving a little hiccup now and then. The slicing job lay forgotten on the wall-screen; she was currently turning all the satellites, ships, and surface-side sensors she could to Bracca, straining them to pick up on recognizable lifeforms. Keel’ath said nothing — he understood little about the technology — just letting her work.
“There are lifeforms near their last known location,” said Mako after several minutes. “But there’s no telling if it’s them or the Zakuulians.”
“Lana said she believed Brant was still alive, at least.”
Mako sniffed and dabbed her eyes. Keel’ath squeezed her tight. She clicked in a few more commands, then put the datapad down, looking up at him.
“I’m tired of it,” said Mako softly. “I’m tired of this war. I’m tired of all the horrible tyrannical people killing all those I love… or locking them in carbonite…”
“I am too,” said Keelath softly.
“We never seem to get any closer to that day on the beach, no matter how hard we try.” Her voice wavered plaintively.
“Eh, you wouldn’t want to see me in a bathing suit anyway, Mako.”
She slapped his shoulder, then kneaded it, turning her head aside to lean into him.
“I’d stop all the wars if I could,” Keel’ath told her. “There’s always one somewhere, though. The world can never stay at peace.”
“Don’t say that,” said Mako. “I want to believe there’s still a point.”
“A point to what?”
“To keeping believing this is all possible. That we can win. But if you say there’s never been peace, then how can we ever win?”
“We could lay down our arms now and surrender,” said Keel’ath tiredly. “That would bring peace.”
“It’d just let those jerks win,” said Mako fiercely. “We can’t let that ever happen.”
“Well, now you know why there will never be lasting peace.” She looked up at him, and he planted a kiss on her forehead.
“Is this one of those ‘evil never sleeps’ lectures?” said Mako.
“I guess. We could surrender. Makkia would live a peaceful enough life if she stayed out of trouble, and maybe her son or daughter after her.” Keel’ath looked away. “Sooner or later though, the consequences of our cowardice would come to haunt them.”
“So that’s why you fight,” said Mako.
“I’d rather it be I who suffer, than my children,” Keel’ath confirmed.
Yet that wasn’t what was happening, he thought to himself. One after the other, he’d seen his children succumb to death before he could secure any kind of future for them, peaceful or otherwise. He winced hard, but his eyes didn’t have tear ducts anymore. It was impossible for him to cry.
His put the heel of his hand in his face. So often he had seen outbursts of emotion as irritating things, holding him back from what he must do, but now he wished he could make a tear: just one.
“That’s what left Brant an orphan to begin with,” Mako sobbed. “If you’d never stood up to the Emperor, then maybe he’d be…be…”
“Would standing up to his Sith recruiters count as standing up to the Emperor?” Keel’ath muttered.
She looked at him. He looked at her.
“They would’ve come for him anyway.”
“And Brant would have gone with them.”
“Like fate either way,” said Mako, and she slumped.
Keel’ath looked up at the ceiling as he held her, rubbed her back. “Like fate,” he agreed, then paused. “That’s why I fight, Mako. Something in the Force must have decided that that path was right for him and to put him on it no matter what happened. So, by the same Force, this path of this role of Commander must be right for me.”
“Like some god?” said Mako. “And how do you know it’s a nice god? Maybe it’s all just leading us along, like a trick of the Dark Side.”
“If it was a trick of the Dark Side, the Emperor wouldn’t be fighting us so hard,” said Keel’ath.
“If evil is always going to exist, in the Emperor or someone else, why fight it at all…”
“No…” Keel’ath mused. “Don’t you see? If evil must always exist, then so must good.” He looked at her. “And if it isn’t fate, if it is all just our choices unfolding endlessly before us, then I know which side I’d rather choose.”
“The Light,” said Mako.
He nodded and hugged her tightly.