Dear Mirium,
Your letter was late in arriving. It seems to have reached the Orgrimmar camps at the same time we were sailing for what is now called Nazjatar. I hope you didn’t take the long wait awry.
I’ve thought of you the past few days. I don’t have an easy answer to your question. My worries are not the sort to commit to paper when in the middle of a war front, I’m afraid. The damp has also taken many of our supplies, and I must keep letters short to save on paper. Understandably the kelfin do not have much of it down here to spare.
All I can say is I will try, and I hope this does not fall to ruin. And if you ask what “this” is, the answer is anything you can think of.
Sincerely,
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
I understand your hesitance, I do. I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable or pressure you, only I’ve realized how selfish I’ve been in regards to you, and how that probably hasn’t helped matters at all…
I have a hundred and one chores to do today so I’ll have to keep this brief. Please be careful on the front. I’ve heard some bad things.
Sincerely,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
Your concern is appreciated, but this is war, a fact I keep having to remind everyone of, or so it seems.
I found Tyrric’s wife here today. I tried to convince her to return home, but I think I’ve only managed to make her more scared of me, and over what should be common sense..
Tyrric also put in an appearance. For once we were in agreement, and he saw Alelsa back to Orgrimmar before she could cause any problems. We also conversed, he and I, but it ended in a fight. I suppose he’ll tell you all about it when he returns to Dawnmist.
I seem to have gotten the reputation of being irritable. When this is what I am to deal with, what else do others expect?
I’m out of paper.
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
Tyrric swept in a little before your letter arrived like Sargeras Himself was after him, but he didn’t say a word about what happened. He did seem very upset. Was it about Alelsa, still?
You do seem riled, but you know me, or I guess you don’t, but I intend to reserve judgement until I hear all sides. As far as your safety, of course it is a war and those are unpleasant, but I can still be worried about you, can’t I?
Would it set your mind at ease to hear of other things? It’s breeding season and I’ve been very busy pairing mates to studs. Yesterday Cloud Kicker—Rosen’s get, do you remember him?—was good to his name and kicked his way out of his stall. I think we managed to catch him before he got in with the mares, but there is one who was further out in the pasture who might have run across him. I suppose we will see.
From,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
I remember Rosen, but perhaps I had better tell you about that later…
Yes, my fight with Tyrric was about Alelsa, and my thoughts on how he is running the barony—after he had asked me to say those thoughts, mind you. I do not think he understands me; sometimes I think he is too much enamored by who I was, and doesn’t conceive that who I am now is by necessity different, and that I cannot always find common ground with him.
I told him, as I now tell you, that I left the manor to keep myself from doing something I’d regret over these issues, but also to keep you both from being hurt by my reality. Many of my kind revel in the pain-making. I am no different, but I have the honor to not inflict it on family. Here through letters I can control it, at least, but I don’t think he understands these much better. I wrote a letter to him while he was a prisoner of war in Stormwind, and he does not seem to have taken it in any good humor.
I think he’s grown weary of me now, and I have no answers for him beyond I have always been straightforward in my opinions, and have already taken steps to soften the blows as much as I may. Sometimes I want to tell him, though, that I cannot hold much sympathy for him when he puts his nose in it yet again to try and change what I do not think changeable for me, or others. And we both leave feeling judged and unhappy.
There, that is a worry for you, put to paper as you have been asking. I would say I hope you appreciate it, but that would probably have across as sarcastic—when such is not meant.
From,
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
No, I did not read it as sarcastic (though maybe I would have without your clarifier!) I am glad you feel you can confide in me, however unhappy you may be.
It’s a hard thing. Your brother and you always did have an on-again off-again kind of relation to each other. I think, perhaps, he was scarred by your death, and what happened in the wars since, including to Evelos. When you found me, he kept saying he wanted to make it up to me, despite what Talthan did being none of his fault. I think maybe, the same applies with you.
Can you not find it within you to be patient with him? He has been skulking around the manor like a courser with a rock in its shoe for the past few days. He always took your criticisms to heart and looked up to you, so I suppose it doubly difficult for him now, added to his guilt.
I will tell you this in confidence, too. He had a row with Alelsa the night you returned. They woke most of the manor. Alelsa took off in tears and I have been trying to find her, though I’m no match for a warlock’s spellwork, I’m afraid. I have never seen Tyrric lose it like that before, and I have known him as long as I knew you. He is stretched thin.
Not to lessen how it must feel like for you, though I am a little confused about that, I’ll add. You say he does not understand you—do you mean with your undeath? He has fought undead before, but I don’t know if he’s ever tried to make friends with them–even with the Forsaken in the Horde. You are right that you are different now, but not as much as I think you’re afraid of. He’s still your brother.
With love,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
I took what you said under advisement, and I have sent a token and a note for Tyrric in this package. Please tell me if it seems to make a difference to him.
I’m not as angry about it as I was. I realized I, too, was holding on to the past, only it was a past none of you could live up to, because it was a fantasy based on stories others had told me of you, not on you yourselves. I had pictured something like in a fairy tale of noble paladins and gentlefolk insulated from the awfulness that the world is today. Of course it was only a fantasy that could not hold up to the reality, and I was setting us all up to fail in a sense.
Not to do a complete round-about, though. It does wear on me, knowing what became of my son. It seemed a sickness in the bloodline, compounded by Tyrric taking the hand of a woman practically half-demon. To see warlocks walking the streets of Silvermoon without rebuke. When I have no emotional connections to you, please believe me, it was easy to sit on my high dead horse and think you all better off dead. Though my memories have fled again, the memory of the emotions they gave me have not. As it is, it’s a daily battle between my Forsaken instincts, those feelings of anger and hunger, and a better self I dare to think is a remnant of my living soul.
That, I think, is what Tyrric does not understand. He either sees his living brother or he sees a Forsaken serving the Banshee Queen. He does not see the conflict and does not know that I perceive both sides to have valid concerns. I don’t know how long I can stand to be half in and half out of this living world. I will never be what I once was, but to turn the other way is dive into depravity I refuse to give in to, at the same time.
I’m sorry for my earlier vitriol. I do love you, or at least, treasure your letters. And I hope they last.
Sincerely,
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
I think I am understanding you better, at least. You sound very conflicted, and it’s only natural that sometimes bursts through the seams, and your anger gets the better of you. You’ve always been the kind of man who plows through whatever’s in your course once you’ve put your mind to something, and I suppose sometimes it’s one of us or you yourself who gets in your own way… May I be impertinent then and suggest your rage and confusion has a perfectly natural explanation, and is not spurred on by any instinct to kill? Of course I don’t know that for sure. But it seems likely, based on what you’ve described!
I don’t know what Tyrric thinks, but I know which side of you I’d like to win your battle, and I suppose I can be a little insensitive in pursuing that without thinking what other feelings you might have wrapped up in it. You can be a very dense man, you know, in the worrywart way. Tyrric can be the same.
Your letter seemed well received, by the way. Tyrric was even seen to smile at breakfast! He is due soon on the front. Perhaps the two of you can speak then,
Love,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
I write this to you after meeting my brother on the front. The talk seemed well-received, and we do patrols together now, looking out for the other in what I dare to think was how we used to interact when I was ine of the living.
I’m not sure what you describe is where my anger comes from. The instinct makes any frustration take a more violent turn, yes. Killing is an acceptable solution to me when maybe it wasn’t before. But I am frustrated with Tyrric for my own reasons, as well. He enjoys to tease, and give undesired advice, and admittedly so do I, but when he goes too far, he does not seem to connect his misstep with my anger. Then I am all the more angry for being labeled a violent man for having to shout when a quiet word should do. And then I am angry too when I lose my temper, because that is not a safe thing these days…
Thank you for the letter. I am glad to receive them. Tell me of your own life sometime. Did Cloud Kicker service that mare after all?
From,
Keelath
Dear Mirium,
I break convention now by sending you a letter before yours has arrived.
This is very difficult to say. Tyrric has gone too far and I think is bound to go off and sulk over it for some time.
That concerns me, but the matter of the sulking concerns you.
A few weeks ago, a scout of one of the other regiments took to stealing my things and then leaving tokens behind in my pack even after I caught her at it. We became friendly with each other, and I swear it, not indecent, though I think maybe she had those thoughts in mind at one point or another. At any rate, Tyrric was teasing me about it, and I had it out with him, and that is what the sulk is about.
I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’m not really sure where we stand as far as loyalty goes, as our vows were broken with my death—as Tyrric keeps seeing fit to remind me—and I know you were looking into other options. I don’t think I will ever partner again, for the same issues we faced. Yet I will admit despite all of it, and the rage, I am lonely.
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
I had started on a letter before receiving your second one. I will include that letter at the end, but I wanted to start first with what all you said last.
It’s a difficult matter, and I almost believe we should be talking about it face to face, though I suppose if that scout is still around, that would be unpleasant for all of us.
Tyrric has approached me about our relationship a couple times, but I think he has accepted now that we are separated. Is it wrong for him to want you to be happy? He’s really quite young at heart in some ways, and his joy in Alelsa’s company is plain for all to see, so maybe he just naturally felt you would want the same in your own life.
Myself, I don’t know. I have missed you, but knowing you are different now, and how hard you take that fact, my heart tells me to at least wait until we are better acquainted before we try to rekindle anything. For I’ve changed too. Is it even possible to rekindle that old spark? I think so, but it would take time and effort. Whatever else, I will always see you with warm regard. How couldn’t I? We were like glove and hand, Keelath. But yes, sometimes the distance and the changes in us both and the thought of you moving on is all very painful.
So I ask you, would you court this scout of yours, if you could, and if I gave you my blessing?
I had intended to seek someone myself, but…I am finding I have too much to do, and the single life isn’t all that bad, and I would have to think of the effect on Evelos and Medyfivol too, though they are grown. I would dearly love for another child, but that’s the kind of thing that can wait. For who or what, I don’t know.
I’m thinking of your “issues”. It seems like there is magic that could help if you really wanted it. Maybe not the best option, but it is there.
Now as for that other letter…
My life? It goes! We have a couple of Tauren squires now, and may soon enroll a Zandalari. I’m afraid I have no horses big enough for them, but I am enjoying learning about their kodos. I can’t quite tell if they are mammal or reptile, as they can have both fur and scales. Cook’s eyes just about popped out of his head when he realized how much feed must go into them, though.
Love,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
Tyrric keeps reminding me about the magical methods to help with my “issues”, yes. I’ll admit it’s not really something that interests me, and that seems alien to him. I suppose it would to anyone with that kind of drive, still. It is so much a part of being alive.
Tyrric has kept his distance. He joined another patrol for a few days and so has the scout.
I don’t think I would court her. She is traumatized, and one can’t truly be with such a person until they’ve faced their own issues. I have done what I can to help her, but my skills and time have a limit, and she appears to have decided very quickly to leave me, probably so as not to compete with you. Or maybe she finally realized the truth of my lack of desire. Or it is the trauma. I am not exactly handling this well, but I am very tired of being made the center of everyone’s problems when I’ve got plenty of my own. It is enough to ponder letting the mindlessness take me. Yet would anyone notice, or would it be only what they expected? Self-fulfilling prophecies, everywhere.
It sounds like you are enjoying the squires and their kodos. Good. I hope that contains to brighten your days.
From,
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
You sound more bitter than disinterested, truth be told, but I’ll agree, it sounds like it wouldn’t be in your best interest. I can say quite unselfishly you’re better off not courting someone who’d just be a project and flit off on you at a moment’s notice. Not that I would have any experience in THAT matter of course! (I’m trying to make you laugh.)
I don’t know what to say about you and Tyrric. It seemed to have been going so well. Is one of you maybe being too impatient, expecting a resolution too soon? You’ve both changed, and adapting to that will be slow. It seems a little narrow-minded of him to concede so quickly, but perhaps he is expecting more fights like the one that drove him here last time, rather than a steady patching-up. You haven’t exactly been gentle with him, and he has a lot on his mind.
But don’t you dare think for one minute we don’t want you here! I swear, if you go mindless I will hunt you down and smite you myself until you come back to your senses. Maybe it is an illusion from your lack of memory, but these things pass, Keelath. It only upsets us to see you take a dark turn because we know it means you suffer.
Suffer well, isn’t that what the Ebon Blade says? And I dare to think of a life for you beyond any suffering at all. Think of that too, and by all that is holy, don’t give up!
Love,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
You are right, of course. It just seemed I lost everyone in one fell blow, to their own stupidity which I was helpless to mend. But you are right too, that even if the drive comes back, or doesn’t, that it is prudent not to attach myself to one who sees nothing wrong in stringing me out so.
I do feel some responsibility towards her, still. She lost her brother in the Silvermoon massacre, which is why she sought me out at first, thinking I was him. Her worst fears were realized and she learned he was raised into undeath. When she found him, he rejected her, and she has been very alone. I do not believe anyone’s gotten as close to her since then as I have.
Yet it also still stings I went to so much trouble for this kind of return for my kindness. It is a hardening on her part, perhaps one that will allow her to survive now without bowing to hopelessness, but I don’t see room in it for me.
And I will miss her—again, nothing indecent.
Sincerely,
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
When you keep insisting nothing indecent went on, I begin to wonder!
Maybe she does need further help, but maybe it also cannot come from you. Did you ever think of that? Sometimes we can only pray to the Light to help others see their own truth. Does it hurt you now to pray? If not, maybe it’d help set you at ease.
Alelsa is coming to visit Tyrric soon, I hear. I thought it best to warn you, so you can prepare or at least find some far off outpost to be at. She had a fight with a noble earlier. The squires are all talking about how Tyrric kissed a demon at the Lounge or some such nonsense. How impressionable they are! Maybe the demon was Alelsa in disguise and that was why she was so angry, at being found out? Oh, I shouldn’t jest so, that’s hardly better than the squires’ tittering, but you have to admit it’s fun!
Love,
Mirium
Dear Mirium,
You never cease to amaze, or amuse. Yes, I think that joke quite wrong, but also funny–are you happy? You made me laugh. I would tell it to Tyrric if I didn’t think he would accuse me of attacking him in the next breath.
I will likely be on extended patrol with my Forsaken unit the next few days, so that should take me well out of range of any trouble from those two. It is good to have an ally in this, though we must swear to commit no harm beyond the comical, don’t you think? I would like to be on good terms with my brother, even if he does have such a penchant for being a bore.
Take care of the brown for me, by the way, when she arrives. If Tyrric didn’t tell you, she was “orphaned” on the battlefield, and I nabbed her before some orc who would only see her as meal could have a say. Be aware she bites. And bucks. Probably better as a broodmare, unless you can think of a way to teach her some manners. Don’t say I never gave you spirited offspring.
Love,
Keelath
Dear Keelath,
You’re certainly feeling better, aren’t you? Oh, yes, let’s, and I certainly will, though I hope this one is not as spirited as the last “offspring” you gave me.
You will probably not get this before your assignment, so I’ll keep it at this, and await your next letter eagerly.
With love,
Mirium
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